Is there ever a right time?
Monday, March 10th, 2008
You have a good job, nice home, great social life and you think you and your man are for ‘keeps’, so when or how do you decide to turn your life on it’s head and bring a baby into the equation?
No sooner have you and your partner trotted down the isle to say ‘I DO’, Auntie Flo will be asking the million dollar question of when you are going to be starting a family.
Saying okay lets do it, lets start trying for a baby may seem easy but from the moment those words are uttered your whole thinking will start to change and suddenly your idyllic baby free world will have been turned on it’s head!
The decision is made and suddenly it will be all you will be able to think about…..unexpectedly you may find yourself in the baby section of the supermarket instead of the fruit and veg. Baby books and magazines will fill your shelves instead of your fashion and gossip magazines and your monthly ovulation cycle will be closely monitored with every symptom of a possible pregnancy noted.
It can change your whole world, no more alcoholic drinks after work, maybe less strenuous workouts and no more shopping for skinny jeans and killer heels! Smocks, comfy sensible shoes and a healthy diet will take hold and before you know it, you’ll be loving every second of it, well maybe!
So the big question is…..how do you suddenly decide…YES the time is right?
Comment by Kaela Thomas
2008-03-10 19:10:53
I think the best time to have a baby is when you are in a stable loving relationship. Both adults/partners have to agree on the decision to go ahead and plan for that baby. Other factors also must come into the equation such as the financial ability of the couple.
There is no need to be pressured by family/peers or the environment around you, the only person you have to listen to is your other half…
By communicating with one another, you will come to a conclusion on WHEN the right time is!
Comment by Molly
2008-03-11 14:44:44
For me the right time to have a baby is when you found your sol mate and you are in love. Carrier and money have nothing to do with the maternal feeling
Comment by Emma
2008-03-27 14:03:21
Best time to plan a Baby?
• I don’t want any children in this world we are living in, seeing the pathetic future that the human being is reserving the planet, I don’t see the benefit in continuing to reproduce.
• Whenever you are ready.
• To tell you the truth, for me there will never be a right time to plan a baby. You will say after your studies, after that you will have to find the right partner, a job, the house, marriage and after you must think about progressing in your chosen career, and when you finally think about the baby, you are nearly 35 – 40 years old. So you are never ready. You must plan a baby when you have had a long thought about it, for if a problem occurs like the loss of a job, or the car breaking down, or whatever you might think of… The time is when you and your partner feel ready morally; you must talk to him and not do it alone, that’s the best time to plan a baby.
• There is never a best time. You must do it before it is too late. Of course, you can plan it when you have found your soul mate, financial stability etc… But I still think that there is no ‘better time’ and on the contrary ‘it is never the right time’.
• My answer is: it is never the right time. Because when you finish your studies, you must find a job, when you have a job, you are in fear of losing it.
• The right time is when you are truly ready to take your responsibilities as a mother/father, the long years of studies, the joys, but also the cries and sadness of childhood. The pain of teenage hood, the departure of the young one. It is probably when you are mature, towards your intelligent 40s.
• I am among the people who believe that you do not plan a baby, this is because of my religious beliefs.
• Several factors come into account and they all have the same importance (even though the emotional side wins over the rational one):
o A fulfilled life with a partner
o After having taken advantage of the pleasures of life ‘without children’
o Stable professional life
o Enough maturity to decide to compromise
o Sacrifices and renounce certain activities for the benefit of new centre of interests
o Not to waste too much time, as there is nothing worse than ‘young parents’ of almost 35 years old, making the child King (I know I am hard, but I know loads of them).
• I think the time has come to have a baby when you have lived your life of ‘young couple’ enough, taking advantage of opportunities to go out and travel. Because having a baby means sacrifices towards your time table, and leisure and living to the child rhythm, at least the first year.
• When you are financially capable to commit to the baby’s needs and when you are ready.
Comment by Viri
2008-03-12 16:50:04
I agree that the family and friends put even more pressure when they rise the fatidical question. The couples should decide by themselves if they are responsible and matured enough to rise a child. A loving and caring relationship with your partner must be the first thing to question when you want to have a child.
But , unfortunately, money is also a big issue, as rising a child shakes the economy of a family. Those diapers and baby clothes cost a fortune!
Comment by Dan
2008-03-12 17:44:28
I don’t think having a child should be planned too much. Sometimes it just happens, and you adapt. Thinking too much about whether it’s ‘the right time’ may just put you off the idea altogether. In short, I don’t think there’s ever a ‘right’ time or that it should necessarily be decided deliberately when to have a baby. A baby should be welcomed into the world no matter how ill thought out the ‘planning’.
Comment by Charlotte
2008-03-13 16:14:46
If you start thinking about when is the right time you will probably be able to come up with reasonable arguments your whole life that the time is not right. But having a baby is not a “rational” thing, it is something fundamental, at least for some people. Then of course there are people who will never want to have kids.
I agree with the comment made by Dan that whenever it happens you adapt to it, as you have to adapt to everything that happens in life anyway. And make the best out of it. So no, I don’t believe in planning the child situation too much.
Comment by Anna
2008-03-14 14:45:43
I fear times are never perfect for having a baby. You will always find an argument preventing you from getting a child: not enough money, carrier concerns, relationship problems etc. However, having the wish for a baby is a strong argument too. If you really want a baby, you will have to make compromises anyway. You can’t simply continue with your life, as it will affect your relationship as well as your professional life significantly. Thus, you have to decide if you can live with it. Best is planning and reorganizing your life beforehand and see if it could work. If you find other things being more important for you, you better leave it and rethink it later on again. You should regard a baby important enough to live with negative consequences it may cause.