Experiencing a miscarriage is devastating, it can cause you to feel alone and isolated and probably even ask yourself if you were to blame. 

There are many reasons why a miscarriage can occur. 

50% of pregnancies miscarry before implantation in the womb takes place and even early after plantation 30% of women may miscarry, but why? 

• Bad luck is one reason. When you conceive half the genes come from the sperm and the other half from the egg, so sometimes when conception happens and the genes merge they may miss some of the information and the pregnancy is destined not to be.
• It could also be that the baby did not implant itself properly.
• Other medical factors are related to maternal age, poorly controlled diabetes and smoking to name a few.

If you have experienced a miscarriage don’t put blame on yourself, by thinking that if you hadn’t eaten spicy food or maybe didn’t rush around so much things may have been different. Many women miscarry and many more than once. Talk to your partner and discuss your feelings. 

You may feel like you want to start trying for another baby straight away but it is recommended that you wait until you have had three periods after a miscarriage. 

Don’t forget to ask your doctor for any advice on proceeding with a new pregnancy.

The first few weeks after giving birth can leave you feeling emotional.

You may be feeling happy one minute and then find yourself bursting into tears the next minute for no apparent reason. This is completely normal. 

·         Feeling over emotional

·         Totally irrational

·         Irritable

·         Anxious

·         Depressed 

These feelings are all completely normal, your hormones will be going through lots of changes after giving birth but usually settle down after a few days. 

You should start to feel better and find it easier to cope after a few days, most mums all feel completely stressed and exhausted at times but if it is affecting you leading a normal life then it could be a sign that you have post natal depression.

It’s good to know what your options are and what effect they will have, although everyone is different and everyone has different pain thresholds. There are probably plenty of funny stories and horror stories attached to all different methods of pain relief, after weighing up the pros and cons you can decide which if any is for you.

Gas and air

Most of us have heard of gas and air even if it is your first pregnancy, it is medically known as Entonox.

·         This is used by inhaling through a mask or mouth piece during your contractions and will take the edge off the pain.

·         It only works while you are using it, therefore you are in control.

·         There are no effects on the baby and you can use other methods of pain relief later into your labour should you feel you need to.

·         The only negative of using gas and air is that in some women it can cause nausea.

Pethadine or diamorphine

These are given usually by the mid-wife as an injection and will offer pain relief but will not take away the pain completely so you’ll still feel your contractions but without the intensity.

·         Due to having a sedative effect they will help you to relax and even to get some sleep.

·         You will still be able to move about, however they can make you feel high, nauseas or both.

·         They can make your baby sleepy if the drug passes into your placenta which can prolong the birth.

Epidural

An epidural would be administered by an anaesthetist who would first give you a local anaesthetic into your back to numb you, followed by the epidural. You will also need to have a catheter fitted.

·         You will feel no pain as an epidural completely numbs you.

·         Once administered it can be topped up should your labour be a long one, which can be quite likely as you will not have any sensation of the contractions or when you should push. This can also result in the need for an assisted delivery by ventouse or forceps.

·         As you are numb you will not be able to move around.

There are a lot of reasons why you may want to consider a water birth. The thought of relaxing in the water may seem more appealing than a sterile hospital ward. 

• Water is said to relieve the pain of contractions just like it would for period pains, therefore you will be less likely to need pain relief, and much more likely to experience a natural birth.

• Water is said to relax you, resulting in you feeling less stressed and therefore your muscles will be more relaxed so your contractions will be more co-coordinated.

• Water is buoyant so you will be free to move about without feeling the full weight of your body. Standing up in the water will help with giving birth due to gravity.

• You will have the constant care of a mid-wife as it states if you are in the birthing pool you must have a mid-wife with you throughout the birth.

• Water softens the skin tissue so you will be less likely to tear your perineum.

You may now be imaging yourselves floating effortlessly in the birthing pool whilst giving birth, it’s not all idyllic though! 

• You may find your contractions more painful than you imagined and the water not as soothing as you wished. If this is the case and you would like pain relief you would have to leave the birthing pool.

• You can’t have pethidine or an epidural whilst in the pool and if you did need emergency treatment you would have to leave the pool which could take time and delay you getting medical help.

• The mid-wife will take any faeces, blood clots and other body debris out of the pool which may make you feel uncomfortable.

• There is a risk of the umbilical cord snapping but midwives are now told to lift the baby onto the mother without pulling the cord to avoid the cord breaking.

• You will be told you can’t have a water birth if you have a medical problem, the doctor or mid-wife will advise you on whether they think it is a suitable option.

Being informed that you should have an elective caesarean birth can come as a bit of a shock especially if you had envisaged a natural birth, a home birth or even perhaps a water birth. For some mums-to-be the thought of having a caesarean birth may seem quite glamorous and the easy option….look at

If this is your first time at giving birth you may be wondering how you can possibly make an accurate birthing plan when you have no idea how much pain you will be feeling or what position will actually help.

There are so many more choices now for giving birth such as which, if any, pain relief you would like. During your contractions you may not feel like discussing your preferences with the nurses or doctors so having it all written down for them will help them. Having a birthing plan will help in your involvement in the birth and will give the medical staff an insight into what birth you wish to have.

What should a birthing plan include?

·         Who you wish to have with you at the birth? -  Include if you want them there throughout the whole birth or how much involvement you want them to have.

·         Which position you would like to give birth in? – Squatting, lying down, kneeling? Ask other mum’s for which position they found easiest and get the opinion of your mid-wife.

·         Which pain relief, if any, you would like and in which order? Some ladies just want gas and air, others find this fine at first but want an epidural ultimately. Let the doctors know what you would like.

·         If you end up having an assisted delivery do you have a preference between forceps or ventouse? – given the choice which would you prefer?

·         Your plans for feeding your baby after delivery – breast or bottle. Do you want them placed straight onto your breast?

·         Any special requirements – Do you have any food allergies? Are there any medical or religious needs that must be met during your stay in the hospital?

·         Elective episiotomy or only if medically necessary?Discuss your birthing plan with your mid-wife and get her advice on whether you have missed any vital points or ask her advice if you are unsure about what you want.

Remember that a birthing plan is not set in stone.If there was a medical reason such as you needing an emergency caesarean then the doctors would have to proceed with what is best for you and your baby.I spent ages thinking about my birthing plan, getting a tens machine and my bouncy birthing ball only to be told that my baby was breech, I ended up having a caesarean. It certainly wasn’t the natural birth I had planned but the minute I held my baby I didn’t  give the fact that I didn’t get to use my yoga breathing technique another thought!