Special Poems

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing.
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

“I’ve lost my twins recently, only a few weeks old.  Hope this helps other people to. x” J.

Experiencing a miscarriage is devastating, it can cause you to feel alone and isolated and probably even ask yourself if you were to blame. 

There are many reasons why a miscarriage can occur. 

50% of pregnancies miscarry before implantation in the womb takes place and even early after plantation 30% of women may miscarry, but why? 

• Bad luck is one reason. When you conceive half the genes come from the sperm and the other half from the egg, so sometimes when conception happens and the genes merge they may miss some of the information and the pregnancy is destined not to be.
• It could also be that the baby did not implant itself properly.
• Other medical factors are related to maternal age, poorly controlled diabetes and smoking to name a few.

If you have experienced a miscarriage don’t put blame on yourself, by thinking that if you hadn’t eaten spicy food or maybe didn’t rush around so much things may have been different. Many women miscarry and many more than once. Talk to your partner and discuss your feelings. 

You may feel like you want to start trying for another baby straight away but it is recommended that you wait until you have had three periods after a miscarriage. 

Don’t forget to ask your doctor for any advice on proceeding with a new pregnancy.

Sometimes there is no doubt that your child is unwell, however there may be times when you can’t tell! One minute they seem really sick and then the next they are running around the lounge playing with their toys. 

Things to check for if you are unsure: 

• Running a temperature

• Vomiting

• Crying more than usual

• Not eating or drinking

• Listlessness

Sometimes just sitting back and observing them will give you a good idea on how sick they really are. Some children like a lot of fuss and will appear worse than they really are if they see you are worrying about them.  

You know your child more than anyone else and you should trust your own instinct, if you are worried then you should consult your doctor.  After visiting the doctor if your child isn’t getting any better or even seems to be getting worse then contact your doctor again. Sometimes we may feel like we are being over protective but it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

If you can’t get to see you doctor again and feel like you need to get your child seen then you can call the NHS direct number where they will give you advice over the phone. They may suggest you taking your baby straight to the nearest hospital for an examination or you may just decide to take them directly there yourself.

Nappy rash is caused by a baby’s bottom being in prolonged contact with their urine which contains ammonia or the bacteria from their stools. Many babies will suffer from nappy rash at some stage whilst wearing nappies.  

Signs to look for are; 

• Red, sore looking skin

• Red spots

• Blisters

• Feeling hot to the touch

There are a few things you can do to avoid nappy rash 

• Keep your baby clean and dry with frequent nappy changes

• Try to let their bottom get plenty of fresh air, leave their nappy off for a while when you are at home. Remember to put a towel down to absorb any spillages!

• Always clean your baby’s bottom from front to back to avoid transferring bacteria from the bottom.

• Use fragrant free wipes, or even cotton wool and warm water.

Nappy rash can occur if your baby has an upset tummy or can even be down to a change of diet. Changing from breast milk to formula can sometimes leave them with a nappy rash or it can be caused by something as simple as using wipes that contain alcohol. 

To treat nappy rash apply a nappy rash cream and give the bottom plenty of fresh air to aid healing. If it does not get better see your health visitor or doctor.

Lot of children will at some point catch head lice and despite lots of rumours and myths, it makes no difference on whether your child’s hair is squeaky clean or dirty! 

• Look out for black lice droppings, which can be easily spotted on blond hair but if your child has dark hair check their pillow where it can sometimes be seen.

• Lice lay eggs in the hair but are really tricky to spot, when they are hatched you will find it easier to look for the nits. Nits are simply the empty egg shells which look a little like dandruff but they will not be shaken out like dandruff, they stick to the hair like superglue!

How to treat head lice 

• You can buy a special comb which has lots of small fine teeth. Wash your child’s hair and then put on lots of conditioner and use the comb to slowly comb out the lice. You must ensure you start right at the root, keep the hair very wet and use plenty of conditioner. The lice will find it tricky to keep a grip of the hair and so you should find you can remove them easily. This procedure must be repeated so you get all the new hatching eggs.

• You could get a special lotion from the pharmacy, doctor or health visitor. They can advise of which one they think is best. They will give you strict instructions to follow.

If your child does catch head lice don’t be embarrassed and please tell your child’s teacher so that everyone in the class can be treated. Don’t forget to treat everyone in the family too so that it is not passed around the family. 

To prevent head lice some people swear by tea tree oil shampoos which apparently the head lice don’t seem to like…..it’s worth a try!

We have all heard the horrific stories of babies dying from cot death and no-one seems to know the reason why!  There are some things you can do to reduce the risk. 

• Always buy a new mattress even if the cot is second or third hand!

• Place your baby to sleep on their back with their feet right at the bottom of the cot to avoid the baby suffocating under the covers.

• Don’t let your baby get overheated, keep room temperature between 16-20 degrees and always keep your baby’s head uncovered even if you have just come in from being outside.

• Don’t smoke around your baby or let others smoke near your baby. Avoid taking your baby to smoky places.

• Your baby should not share a bed with a smoker as this has been proven to increase the risk of cot death.

• Avoid cot bumpers, they make look pretty but your baby could get tangled up in them.

• Don’t let your baby fall asleep on a sofa where they could get smothered by the cushions.

Try not to get too hung up and stressed about cot death so you spend all your time worrying about it happening and not enjoying your first few months with your baby. Following this advice and that of your health visitor will help you reduce the risk.

 If you find your baby continually cries at a certain part of the day and it is difficult to get them to settle, they could be suffering from colic. 

Early evening is when most mums find colic strikes, this is the time when you will probably be feeling tired and looking forward to relaxing. The crying can last for hours and everything you do may not seem to help to soothe your baby.  Why does colic occur?No-one can seem to agree on what causes colic, some doctors say it is due to wind and stomach pain. Whatever the cause, there are a few things you can try to help you get over this period. 

• For breastfeeding mums you could try changing your diet, maybe something you are eating doesn’t agree with your baby. Talk to your health visitor who can advise you on where you could make adjustments to your diet.

• Avoid lots of visitors handling your baby and passing them around, over stimulation can cause your baby to become fretful, it doesn’t mean of course that you can’t let anyone hold your child, just make sure they get time to settle on their own and enjoy quiet times.

• Bottle fed babies may find a change of formula milk can help. Your health visitor will be able to advise you.

• Gripe water or for younger babies there are alternative colic drops, some mums think these really help.

• Massaging your baby’s tummy in a circular motion clockwise could relieve any build up of wind.

Get as much help as you can, share the crying with some-one, coping with a baby who cries constantly can make you feel stressed and unable to cope…..this is normal. It doesn’t last forever but it can be an extremely difficult period to deal with.Don’t be too afraid to ask for some help.

Are you pregnant and feeling sick? Don’t worry this is quite common. The degree of nausea you feel varies from person to person and if you suffer from morning sickness with one pregnancy it doesn’t necessarily mean all future pregnancies will have you reaching for the sick bucket. The good news is that normally the nausea stops after the first three months, however if you are one of the unlucky ones it can however go on until five months.Why do you feel sick?  The actual causes are still not actually known, however,

• It is thought however that morning sickness is caused by the hormonal changes taking place in your body.

• Or possibly by an imbalance of your blood sugar levels.

• Some doctors have the theory that women carrying twins or triplets are more susceptible to feeling nausea. 

What can I do to feel better? There are many theories, old wives tales and well meaning friends ready to give advice…..here are a few of our own!

• Eating little and often may help and will stop your blood sugar levels dropping.

• Drink lots of liquids to avoid dehydration, especially if you are being physically sick. Preferably water and fruit juice rather than tea or coffee.

• Try to avoid heavy meals or meals with a high fat content.

• Some people say the magic cure is ginger….try some ginger biscuits or ginger tea.

• Get plenty of rest, and try to sit down to eat your meals slowly to aid digestion.

• Finally avoid anything that triggers your nausea ( could be a good excuse of getting out of  filling the car up with petrol. A bit naughty but being pregnant has to have some advantages!)

If you do find that you are vomiting excessively, loosing weight or feeling dehydrated, then don’t hesitate to consult your doctor.