You may feel guilty that your son’s best friend has the best of everything. Designer clothes, games consoles and all the latest trends but don’t feel guilty if you can’t do the same for your child.

Giving you child everything they want and never saying ‘NO’ may seem like you are doing your best for them but what they need more than anything is our love. Material possessions are not the same as spending quality time with your child which is invaluable.

·        Let them choose an activity which you can do together. It can be as simple as baking a gooey chocolate cake, or making something with some messy arts and crafts.

·        Read with your children, let them read to you and take it in turns. Make a little time every night before bed to tell them a story. They will remember the fairytales or stories you tell them and will enjoy the undivided attention.

·        Go to the park, take a ball, a kite or simply go on a nature trail. Just enjoy being out in the fresh air with them.

·        Make meal times a chance where the whole family can sit together and talk. Let it be a time where they can talk to you about places they would like to visit, find out who their latest best friend is and show interest in them. It’s good if they can share their fears, excitement and worries with you without it becoming a ‘big deal’.

·        Start up a new family hobby, such as bike riding, playing skittles or even starting a vegetable garden and letting everyone choose what they would like to try and grow.

Sometimes it can be hard to find time to dedicate it just to your children, with piles of ironing, washing, hovering and meals to cook. If this is the case ask them to help. Pop on some funky music and get busy in the kitchen. Let them help you cook, make sauces or lay the table whilst doing a boogie. Show them your best disco moves whilst dusting and get them to join in. It may not be as perfect as you’d like but as least you had fun!

In many years ahead your child will remember the funny stories you told at bedtime or the crazy dances you used to do together. These make much better memories than a child who had everything he wanted except his parent’s time!

by: Craig Smith

Depression during pregnancy is a serious problem, affecting 10-20% of all women. With figures like that and with the added concern that depression can factor into the health of the baby, it is important to know something about how depression and pregnancy are connected.

It’s important to recognize what depression is and what the symptoms are.Depression is usually diagnosed when the patient experiences three or more of the following symptoms in the space of two weeks:

·         A sense that nothing feels enjoyable or fun anymore

·         Feeling blue, sad, or “empty” for most of the day, every day

·         Difficulty concentrating

·         Extreme irritability, agitation, or excessive crying

·         Trouble sleeping or sleeping all the time

·         Extreme or never-ending fatigue

·         A desire to eat all the time or not wanting to eat at all.

If a woman experiences three or more of these, she may be suffering from clinical depression and should report the symptoms to her doctor.

Special Poems

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing.
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

“I’ve lost my twins recently, only a few weeks old.  Hope this helps other people to. x” J.

Hi there,

My name is Louise

I’m the Researcher for a show for Living TV called Extreme: Skinny Celebrity Mums 2.

We are looking for new real mums to take part and talk to us about the pressures of being a new mum.

Our main focus will be the pressure women feel from celebrities to lose their post-pregnancy weight in an unnatural time.

If this sounds like something you are interested in then please e-mail me.

louise.sammon@target-tv.com

ThanksLouise

Reports have shown that 25% of children at some stage of their schooling years will get bullied.  As parents the thought of your child being bullied is horrifying but if we remember back to our school days we most likely knew of at least one bully and were lucky if we weren’t one of their victims.  What signs should you look out for if you think your child is being bullied? 

• It’s likely they will want to avoid going to school and will come up with plenty of excuses even if they previously enjoyed school
• They may ask you for money, new gadgets or things that they would never normally ask for.
• They may continually lose their things if the bully is taking things from them.
• Bruises, ripped clothing and sullen behaviour.
• They may suddenly become less academic and lose interest in the things they used to enjoy.
• They may be too scared to use the toilets at school so will be desperate to use the bathroom when you pick them up.
• Sleep problems, bad dreams and maybe even wanting to sleep near you.

Growing up as a victim of bullying can give the child low self esteem and depression so you need to spot the signs and give all the help and support possible.

1. Install confidence in your child. Confident children are much less likely to become a victim but what if your child is not confident by nature? There are some things that you can do.  Get them to stand up straight and with their head held high.

2. Encourage your child to invite their friends back to the house to play out of school hours. Bullies generally like children who don’t have a big social network to back them up. If a bully approaches your child tell them to go and stand next to a group of children even if they are not best friends. This can be off putting for a bully as they much prefer a child on their own, as it is easier to intimidate a lone child.

3. Practice role play at home. As stupid as it might seem, you can give the child ideas on how to deal with different situations, so if a similar scenario does occur they may feel more confident in how to act.

4. Don’t encourage them to hit back. Your parents may have taught you to fight back but bullies are usually stronger and may have allies under their control so it could result in your child getting hurt and their pride damaged,

5. Inform the school of your fears for your child’s safety. Speak to the head teacher and check with them daily so it is not overlooked. Bullying is a serious matter and should be taken seriously.

Research has proven that bullies are usually very unhappy children themselves with poor adult guidance. Most bullies fail to hold down a job, maintain personal relationships and a high percentage are convicted of crimes before the age of 24.

We’ve all heard of mum’s suffering from post baby blues and sometimes post natal depression after giving birth but recent studies show that 7% of dad’s suffer from the blues or depression following birth too. 

If you are finding it hard to cope, then it is important for you to talk to your doctor or health visitor who will be able to help. They will also know of support groups in your local area where you can talk to fellow sufferers.  

Having a baby is a life changing experience and one that can seem over whelming. Lack of sleep, baby constantly crying and you feeling like your partner no is longer the person she was can all add up and put strain on you and your relationship. 

• Try to get some time just for yourself, it’s not easy with the extra demands on your time but it will be worth it. Even if you only manage an hour just to get away from it all.

• Talk to family or friends about how you are feeling. Don’t bottle it all up or be embarrassed about feeling like you do, you are not alone.

• Try to exercise, get out for a brisk walk or run, it’s great for the body and mind.

Many men find becoming a father difficult but if you are struggling to cope, get help, don’t struggle on.

You have a good job, nice home, great social life and you think you and your man are for ‘keeps’, so when or how do you decide to turn your life on it’s head and bring a baby into the equation? 

No sooner have you and your partner trotted down the isle to say ‘I DO’, Auntie Flo will be asking the million dollar question of when you are going to be starting a family. 

Saying okay lets do it, lets start trying for a baby may seem easy but from the moment those words are uttered your whole thinking will start to change and suddenly your idyllic baby free world will have been turned on it’s head!  

The decision is made and suddenly it will be all you will be able to think about…..unexpectedly you may find yourself in the baby section of the supermarket instead of the fruit and veg. Baby books and magazines will fill your shelves instead of your fashion and gossip magazines and your monthly ovulation cycle will be closely monitored with every symptom of a possible pregnancy noted. 

It can change your whole world, no more alcoholic drinks after work, maybe less strenuous workouts and no more shopping for skinny jeans and killer heels! Smocks, comfy sensible shoes and a healthy diet will take hold and before you know it, you’ll be loving every second of it, well maybe! 

So the big question is…..how do you suddenly decide…YES the time is right? 

It can be infuriating, you’re trying to get them ready for school but you seem to be the only one rushing around whilst they are finding amusement in teasing the cat or getting out their paints on the new lounge carpet. 

Children know when you’re getting cross but still push you to the limit watching you get more and more upset with them. What can you do? 

• It’s easy to say but don’t expect perfect behaviour, we’re not perfect and don’t behave perfectly all the time. They can have ‘off’ days too! They don’t have the pressures of life that we do, if only we could be carefree children again for a day or two!

• When your child does things you have asked them to do, give plenty of praise. They will enjoy having a happy parent and will learn that good behaviour results in a happy parent.

• Stop nagging, ask them once and then tell them you will only ask one more time. Make it final. Nagging can become a habit and they will start to get used to you begging them to do as you have asked. Does it really matter that they are still in their pyjamas? Who will be more embarrassed, you or them? If you have asked them to get dressed, given them one warning and they are still not dressed then take them out in what they have on. They may decide to listen to your request next time!

• If  you shout when you are tired or feeling angry because you’ve had a bad day, say sorry and explain to them why you got cross.

• Try and do things in a different order. If you know your child will take ages getting their shoes on just before you are ready to leave for school, then do it together as soon as they get dressed.

• If your child takes ages cleaning their teeth, do it together, get a timer and make a game of it. Try to put some fun in the boring everyday chores.

• If they make a fuss getting dressed, try having a race. Lie all your clothes out together and make it a challenge to see who is ready first. For younger children you can do the same thing but with a much simpler challenge.

None of us are perfect and we all have ‘off’ days were we wish we had handled things differently or reacted in a calmer more rationalised way. Sleep deprivation, stress and not having a moment to yourself can all add up to you feeling like you’re not being the best parent in the world!You may look at others and wonder how they are so calm, caring and so great at being parents…..no-one is perfect even if to the outside world they manage to appear so, behind closed doors it could be a different story…… 

Before you become a parent it’s easy to look at the child throwing a tantrum in the supermarket and think ‘gosh, no child of mine will behave like that’, however the reality can sometimes be different. 

If you and your child are both tired and feeling grumpy it can be a recipe for disaster. Most children go through stages of being difficult. 

• Not putting their shoes on even after you asking over and over again!

• Eating poorly or refusing the meal you’ve just prepared

• Getting them into bed at night and staying in bed.

The list is endless…………. 

Sometimes with all the stress we are under it is easy to feel like you are constantly shouting, yelling and not enjoying their company. 

Try and take time out, if everyday after school they come home and start tearing around the house, take them to the park instead. Let them let off their steam outside, the fresh air will do you all good. Maybe you can join them on the swings……Did you know a small child smiles up to 332 times a day while adults only smile on average 8 times…… 

Just remember no-one is perfect, try not to be too hard on yourself and smile!