We all dream whilst sleeping, some of us experience vivid dreams for others we never remember a thing. Most children however will experience nightmares at some stage between the ages of 18 months and around 3 years.  What causes them?It could be something that has upset them, they have heard a scary story from their friends or seen something frightening on the television or maybe they are feeling nervous about something. Upon waking they may not even remember their nightmare but they will need lots of cuddles and comfort. Night terrors

These are when your child may be screaming, crying out and thrashing about in their bed. Sometimes they may even get up and talk. Although you want to help them escape their night terror it is best not to wake them in the middle of one. If your child is experiencing a night terror at the same time every night you could try to gently wake them up at least 10 minutes before to break the pattern. It will mean you will have to set your alarm clock but could solve the problem. Keep them awake for a few minutes before letting them drift off back to sleep. They may not even remember you waking them in the morning even if you are feeling the effects of broken sleep! Most children grow out of these and they are not normally caused by anything upsetting.

Becoming a single parent may not be easy. Whether it was decision you made or just a situation you happened to find yourself in, it can prove to be both rewarding but really hard work. 

Having a baby changes your relationship with everyone from your own parents to your friends. Old friends may not understand the responsibility you now have and expect you to still have the same time and energy for your friendships as you did before becoming a parent. Your parents may want to help but end up taking over while other parents may not help enough and take a back seat.  Explaining how you feel can really help and this will enable them to understand that you value them and still need them in your life, maybe more now than ever before.

• Explain to your friends and relatives about the sort of help you would like. It will make them feel wanted and give you some much needed help. If you are struggling to cope with sleep deprivation then ask some-one you trust for some help. Let them look after the baby while you catch up on your sleep.

• You may be struggling with your own feelings if you didn’t plan on becoming a single parent, it sounds cliché but it does help to talk. Ask your health visitor if there are any groups just for lone parents.

• Ask a relative you trust to babysit so you can still meet up with your friends even if it is just for a coffee. This will also enable you to enjoy some time away from your baby which as a single parent is very important.

• Try to meet other single parents who will understand more than anyone on what you are experiencing and maybe if you form a good bond you can help each other out. Having some-one to rely on is important.

• Join lots of mother and baby groups so you can get out and about and meet other parents.

• It will be difficult at times, seeing families all out having fun. Don’t dwell on the fact that you are on your own, make the most of the other relationships you have.

Remember it will get easier, even if the first few months seem tough. As you child gets older you will suddenly find yourself with more ‘me’ time and more energy to enjoy the fun times!

If you are finding being a parent completely overwhelming and unable to lead a normal life you could be suffering from post natal depression.  Having post natal depression does not mean you are an unfit mother. Post natal depression is an illness and affects one in ten women. Sometimes it can be really hard to admit to what you are feeling inside. You may want to show everyone what a great mum you are while inside you feel that it is all too much.  

• Can’t sleep

• Can’t eat

• Feeling really weepy

• Really irritable

• Feeling completely hopeless

Theses are just a few of the ways you may be feeling, looking after yourself and the baby could leave you feeling like it’s just too much and you can’t cope.  Don’t suffer, you must talk to your health visitor or G.P who can help you. If you can’t go alone confide in your partner or friend about how you are feeling so they can go with you. 

Don’t struggle on a lone, no-one will make you feel like a failure, this illness affects so many women and it is an illness not a sign that you are not a good mother.

The first few weeks after giving birth can leave you feeling emotional.

You may be feeling happy one minute and then find yourself bursting into tears the next minute for no apparent reason. This is completely normal. 

·         Feeling over emotional

·         Totally irrational

·         Irritable

·         Anxious

·         Depressed 

These feelings are all completely normal, your hormones will be going through lots of changes after giving birth but usually settle down after a few days. 

You should start to feel better and find it easier to cope after a few days, most mums all feel completely stressed and exhausted at times but if it is affecting you leading a normal life then it could be a sign that you have post natal depression.

  Your partner’s emotions could probably be fluctuating just like your hormones when you tell them you are pregnant! They could be experiencing excitement, anxiety and maybe even fear!

Although you may have been trying for a baby when it finally happens it can be a shock, suddenly the realisation of the huge responsibility of having a baby suddenly becomes real.  If your partner has gone off sex and is making all sorts of excuses to avoid any bedroom activity then try talking to him. He may just need some reassurance! 

• If your partner is the main bread winner he may be worrying about money.

• He could be feeling very protective of you and your unborn baby and scared sex will harm the baby.

• Some men find that their partner’s changing shape alters the way he feels about sex and he doesn’t like the thought of having sex whilst you are carrying his child.

Many of his fears may only be fleeting, others may need you both to discuss how he’s feeling and talk him through them 

• If he is worried that he will hurt the baby, take it slowly and no matter how big he thinks his penis is, it won’t be large enough to hurt the baby. The penis only actually enters the vaginal cavity which is not harmful to the baby.

• If he still can’t relax enough to have penetrative sex then why not enjoy a massage and oral sex

• Remind him of your old self and buy some lovely sexy maternity lingerie, they have some really pretty bras, thongs and pants now for pregnant ladies.

Try not to feel rejected, he probably just needs a little time and a bit of support to get used to the idea of the two of you becoming parents!