We all dream whilst sleeping, some of us experience vivid dreams for others we never remember a thing. Most children however will experience nightmares at some stage between the ages of 18 months and around 3 years.  What causes them?It could be something that has upset them, they have heard a scary story from their friends or seen something frightening on the television or maybe they are feeling nervous about something. Upon waking they may not even remember their nightmare but they will need lots of cuddles and comfort. Night terrors

These are when your child may be screaming, crying out and thrashing about in their bed. Sometimes they may even get up and talk. Although you want to help them escape their night terror it is best not to wake them in the middle of one. If your child is experiencing a night terror at the same time every night you could try to gently wake them up at least 10 minutes before to break the pattern. It will mean you will have to set your alarm clock but could solve the problem. Keep them awake for a few minutes before letting them drift off back to sleep. They may not even remember you waking them in the morning even if you are feeling the effects of broken sleep! Most children grow out of these and they are not normally caused by anything upsetting.

Nappy rash is caused by a baby’s bottom being in prolonged contact with their urine which contains ammonia or the bacteria from their stools. Many babies will suffer from nappy rash at some stage whilst wearing nappies.  

Signs to look for are; 

• Red, sore looking skin

• Red spots

• Blisters

• Feeling hot to the touch

There are a few things you can do to avoid nappy rash 

• Keep your baby clean and dry with frequent nappy changes

• Try to let their bottom get plenty of fresh air, leave their nappy off for a while when you are at home. Remember to put a towel down to absorb any spillages!

• Always clean your baby’s bottom from front to back to avoid transferring bacteria from the bottom.

• Use fragrant free wipes, or even cotton wool and warm water.

Nappy rash can occur if your baby has an upset tummy or can even be down to a change of diet. Changing from breast milk to formula can sometimes leave them with a nappy rash or it can be caused by something as simple as using wipes that contain alcohol. 

To treat nappy rash apply a nappy rash cream and give the bottom plenty of fresh air to aid healing. If it does not get better see your health visitor or doctor.

Becoming a single parent may not be easy. Whether it was decision you made or just a situation you happened to find yourself in, it can prove to be both rewarding but really hard work. 

Having a baby changes your relationship with everyone from your own parents to your friends. Old friends may not understand the responsibility you now have and expect you to still have the same time and energy for your friendships as you did before becoming a parent. Your parents may want to help but end up taking over while other parents may not help enough and take a back seat.  Explaining how you feel can really help and this will enable them to understand that you value them and still need them in your life, maybe more now than ever before.

• Explain to your friends and relatives about the sort of help you would like. It will make them feel wanted and give you some much needed help. If you are struggling to cope with sleep deprivation then ask some-one you trust for some help. Let them look after the baby while you catch up on your sleep.

• You may be struggling with your own feelings if you didn’t plan on becoming a single parent, it sounds cliché but it does help to talk. Ask your health visitor if there are any groups just for lone parents.

• Ask a relative you trust to babysit so you can still meet up with your friends even if it is just for a coffee. This will also enable you to enjoy some time away from your baby which as a single parent is very important.

• Try to meet other single parents who will understand more than anyone on what you are experiencing and maybe if you form a good bond you can help each other out. Having some-one to rely on is important.

• Join lots of mother and baby groups so you can get out and about and meet other parents.

• It will be difficult at times, seeing families all out having fun. Don’t dwell on the fact that you are on your own, make the most of the other relationships you have.

Remember it will get easier, even if the first few months seem tough. As you child gets older you will suddenly find yourself with more ‘me’ time and more energy to enjoy the fun times!

Lot of children will at some point catch head lice and despite lots of rumours and myths, it makes no difference on whether your child’s hair is squeaky clean or dirty! 

• Look out for black lice droppings, which can be easily spotted on blond hair but if your child has dark hair check their pillow where it can sometimes be seen.

• Lice lay eggs in the hair but are really tricky to spot, when they are hatched you will find it easier to look for the nits. Nits are simply the empty egg shells which look a little like dandruff but they will not be shaken out like dandruff, they stick to the hair like superglue!

How to treat head lice 

• You can buy a special comb which has lots of small fine teeth. Wash your child’s hair and then put on lots of conditioner and use the comb to slowly comb out the lice. You must ensure you start right at the root, keep the hair very wet and use plenty of conditioner. The lice will find it tricky to keep a grip of the hair and so you should find you can remove them easily. This procedure must be repeated so you get all the new hatching eggs.

• You could get a special lotion from the pharmacy, doctor or health visitor. They can advise of which one they think is best. They will give you strict instructions to follow.

If your child does catch head lice don’t be embarrassed and please tell your child’s teacher so that everyone in the class can be treated. Don’t forget to treat everyone in the family too so that it is not passed around the family. 

To prevent head lice some people swear by tea tree oil shampoos which apparently the head lice don’t seem to like…..it’s worth a try!

Having two children is harder than having one, your work load is increased and your time will have to be divided between your children. 

It can be hard to cope with the different emotions you are bound to be feeling. Being protective over the new baby is normal and even feeling like you are not loving your first born enough is normal too. 

There will be big adjustments for everyone and this can take time so be patient and don’t worry about feeling like you haven’t got the love, time or energy to go around, eventually your new enlarged family will settle into normality. 

There are a few things to consider in helping your first born to accept the new baby. 

• Try as hard as you possibly can to keep up your normal routine, it may seem like hard work but your eldest child will cope better if they are still seeing their friends at playgroup, playing in the park with you and still having their bedtime story.

• Your eldest child (depending on their age) may go back to behaving like a baby themselves. They may want you to feed them, dig out their old dummy or cry for attention. Try not to get angry and this stage will soon pass.

• Get other family members to help you by looking after the new baby while you engage in a fun activity with your older child or simply enjoy a bath and cuddle together.

• To try and avoid jealousy from your older child by talking to them about how they were as a baby, get out old photos and ask your older child to help you look after the new baby. Let them feel involved by choosing their clothes or helping change a nappy or give a bottle.

• When the going gets tough remember it will get easier. If you really are struggling to fulfil the demands of both children ask a relation or friend if they could mind them for a while and take a much deserved rest.

We have all heard the horrific stories of babies dying from cot death and no-one seems to know the reason why!  There are some things you can do to reduce the risk. 

• Always buy a new mattress even if the cot is second or third hand!

• Place your baby to sleep on their back with their feet right at the bottom of the cot to avoid the baby suffocating under the covers.

• Don’t let your baby get overheated, keep room temperature between 16-20 degrees and always keep your baby’s head uncovered even if you have just come in from being outside.

• Don’t smoke around your baby or let others smoke near your baby. Avoid taking your baby to smoky places.

• Your baby should not share a bed with a smoker as this has been proven to increase the risk of cot death.

• Avoid cot bumpers, they make look pretty but your baby could get tangled up in them.

• Don’t let your baby fall asleep on a sofa where they could get smothered by the cushions.

Try not to get too hung up and stressed about cot death so you spend all your time worrying about it happening and not enjoying your first few months with your baby. Following this advice and that of your health visitor will help you reduce the risk.

Breast feeding is proven to be best for your baby but what if you are really finding it difficult?Breast feeding is convenient, no bottles to sterilise, formula milk to carry around and the search for somewhere to heat it up and then of course having to let it cool down when the kind waitress has made it hotter than a flaming zambuka!  Breastfeeding burns calories and fat, your baby will get your anti-bodies and the best start in life but what about you……? 

Some mums do find breast feeding easy and have no problems, for others it is more difficult. Bleeding and cracked nipples can leave you in agony. Soaking wet breast pads can have you feeling embarrassed and leave you feel like a walking, talking feeding machine? 

There are some things you can do to help and if you can persevere it does actually get easier! 

• Cabbage leaves placed in the fridge and then placed inside your bra will have your breast feeling cool and give you some instant relief. The down side is you will smell like cabbage soup as they heat up nicely and start to wilt inside your nursing bra.

• Buy some nipple cream, this will help if your nipples are cracking and bleeding.

• Try to get your baby to latch on in different positions, and count to ten as they do it. The initial pain as they latch on doesn’t last long but will be imprinted in your memory forever, After a few weeks it does get easier as your nipples get firmer.

• Fresh air really is a great healer, try to have a lie down with your breasts exposed to the fresh air and don’t forget to lie on a towel to catch any spillages.

• Speak to other mums who have breast fed, they can probably offer you lots of support and get you through the rough patch.

Breast feeding can really get you down and leave you reaching for the bottle but if you are in any doubt it does get easier. One day you may look back on the time spent breastfeeding your baby with fondness.

 If you find your baby continually cries at a certain part of the day and it is difficult to get them to settle, they could be suffering from colic. 

Early evening is when most mums find colic strikes, this is the time when you will probably be feeling tired and looking forward to relaxing. The crying can last for hours and everything you do may not seem to help to soothe your baby.  Why does colic occur?No-one can seem to agree on what causes colic, some doctors say it is due to wind and stomach pain. Whatever the cause, there are a few things you can try to help you get over this period. 

• For breastfeeding mums you could try changing your diet, maybe something you are eating doesn’t agree with your baby. Talk to your health visitor who can advise you on where you could make adjustments to your diet.

• Avoid lots of visitors handling your baby and passing them around, over stimulation can cause your baby to become fretful, it doesn’t mean of course that you can’t let anyone hold your child, just make sure they get time to settle on their own and enjoy quiet times.

• Bottle fed babies may find a change of formula milk can help. Your health visitor will be able to advise you.

• Gripe water or for younger babies there are alternative colic drops, some mums think these really help.

• Massaging your baby’s tummy in a circular motion clockwise could relieve any build up of wind.

Get as much help as you can, share the crying with some-one, coping with a baby who cries constantly can make you feel stressed and unable to cope…..this is normal. It doesn’t last forever but it can be an extremely difficult period to deal with.Don’t be too afraid to ask for some help.

Being alone with your baby for the first time can be quite frightening. This is it, you are now a parent and there is no turning back. The realisation of the responsibility can seem really overwhelming. 

The first few weeks really can seem so daunting with so much to learn, some new mums really take everything in their stride, for others it can take longer. 

How to cope 

• Make your baby your priority – don’t worry about the housework, cleaning or worrying about things, it can wait.

• Don’t feel like a failure to ask for help– ask your partner, your mum or friends for help. Get them to do a shop for you, make a meal or simply make you a cup of tea.

• Ask visitors to give you time to settle – having lots of visitors all arriving in a continuous stream can be stressful with all of them wanting to see and hold the baby. It can be unsettling for your baby and put added pressure on you. Get them to visit when you are ready.

• Get as much sleep as you can – when your baby has a nap, have a rest too. Twenty minutes sleep will have you feeling refreshed and ready to carry on with the rest of the day.

• Get a friend or partner to keep you well stocked up with some nutritious snacks – they will keep your energy levels up and stop you from filling up on junk food.

This stage doesn’t last forever, it can be hard but it will get better. In a few months you will look back and wonder why you it seemed so difficult! 

If you are finding being a parent completely overwhelming and unable to lead a normal life you could be suffering from post natal depression.  Having post natal depression does not mean you are an unfit mother. Post natal depression is an illness and affects one in ten women. Sometimes it can be really hard to admit to what you are feeling inside. You may want to show everyone what a great mum you are while inside you feel that it is all too much.  

• Can’t sleep

• Can’t eat

• Feeling really weepy

• Really irritable

• Feeling completely hopeless

Theses are just a few of the ways you may be feeling, looking after yourself and the baby could leave you feeling like it’s just too much and you can’t cope.  Don’t suffer, you must talk to your health visitor or G.P who can help you. If you can’t go alone confide in your partner or friend about how you are feeling so they can go with you. 

Don’t struggle on a lone, no-one will make you feel like a failure, this illness affects so many women and it is an illness not a sign that you are not a good mother.