Experiencing a miscarriage is devastating, it can cause you to feel alone and isolated and probably even ask yourself if you were to blame. 

There are many reasons why a miscarriage can occur. 

50% of pregnancies miscarry before implantation in the womb takes place and even early after plantation 30% of women may miscarry, but why? 

• Bad luck is one reason. When you conceive half the genes come from the sperm and the other half from the egg, so sometimes when conception happens and the genes merge they may miss some of the information and the pregnancy is destined not to be.
• It could also be that the baby did not implant itself properly.
• Other medical factors are related to maternal age, poorly controlled diabetes and smoking to name a few.

If you have experienced a miscarriage don’t put blame on yourself, by thinking that if you hadn’t eaten spicy food or maybe didn’t rush around so much things may have been different. Many women miscarry and many more than once. Talk to your partner and discuss your feelings. 

You may feel like you want to start trying for another baby straight away but it is recommended that you wait until you have had three periods after a miscarriage. 

Don’t forget to ask your doctor for any advice on proceeding with a new pregnancy.

Stretch marks are generally associated with pregnancy, although they are often caused by rapid weight gain.  

They are the result of the skin stretching rapidly which causes the dermis to tear. They first appear as reddish or purple lines but with time will generally fade to empty silvery lines.  

Do creams or oils help? 

Other effective moisturisers containing delicious smelling ingredients could not be proven to prevent stretch marks or improve the appearance of them but did improve skin texture. Not good news really but a study did find that pregnant ladies who used creams containing centella asiatica extract, vitamin E  and collagen-elastin hydrolysates had fewer stretch marks than those who used no creams at all. 

So ladies plaster on that cream every morning and evening and just hope for the best. 

Should you find that you really can’t cope with your stretch marks there are plenty of treatments such as carboxy therapy, this involves injecting CO2 gas into your stretch marks. It’s said to have great results but can be more expensive than a pot of cream. 

If you do get a few, don’t worry, your body has just done an amazing job and has some marks to prove it!

Many parents probably enjoy a week-end away without the children. It enables you to enjoy yourselves as a couple and do all the things that normally prove impossible when the children are around demanding your attention. Talking, enjoying a meal together or simply reading the paper. 

I had heard countless stories from friends about their romantic breaks and thought that we could probably benefit from a nice break away too.  So with my parents installed in our house and endless lists that I’d written on how to use every electrical appliance and all the phone numbers of anyone they may need from the plumber to the neighbour at the end of the road, we set off for

I couldn’t believe we were going and although my friends told me I’d feel free as soon as we were on the tarmac ready to fly to freedom all I felt was worry that they wouldn’t be able to cope without me!  

On arrival my husband assured me a quick phone call would calm my nerves but after hearing how the dog had wandered from room to room looking for me, how both my mum and daughter had to be comforted by my dad with him consoling their tears telling them that I would be back soon, left me feeling like blubbering too. 

So could I relax……well frankly no! I counted the hours and tried to relax but the worry was there. Was it worry about my parents not coping? Our daughter missing us? Maybe both but I think mostly it was guilt, I always feel that I need to look after everyone and do everything.  

Maybe next year I’ll try again but right now I’m just glad to be back in the chaos of home………..for those of you who do manage a week-end of pure relaxation please tell me how do you manage to switch off and enjoy it?

Children’s parties are a time of great excitement for your offspring, do they want a bouncy castle, children’s entertainer, face painting or a trip for all their friends at a local play centre?   It can prove to be an expensive time and the pressure can really be on to fulfil your child’s expectations and keep up with their peers! 

What do you go for?

 ·         The easy on the nerves but hard on the pocket choice and have a party at a local attraction? You can let the organisers do all the work whilst you sit back and relax. ·         Do you attempt to have a party at home, inviting all the family and good old fashion party games? 

For me there is now no choice….after 5 years of entertaining children at home I have finally admitted defeat!  Home parties are exhausting! Everyone will want a little piece of you, questions will be ringing in your ears, children will be hanging off your skirt tails, tears will be flowing over you not letting them win the games. Not forgetting the children that go awol from the designated party area and you find them in your bedroom trying on your brand new and very expensive new lip gloss with blobs spread nicely across the floor! Adults will enjoy the free flowing wine and beer whilst you pop corks, wash glasses and mop up spills. 

Shall I rant on?  Glasses will be broken, face painted children will manage to smear their beautiful works of art onto your beige sofa and chocolate fingers will be on your expensive curtains. Your fridge will be empty, you will be the only one who doesn’t eat, drink or get to sit and chat and at the end of the day you will ask yourself has it been worth it? What do you think? For me next year we’ll be heading off to Euro Disney and it will still probably cost less than the party at home!  

What will you be planning at party time?

The children can’t wait…yippee….no school but just how do you entertain them for not only a day but weeks! 

School holidays can be a time that some parents dread, keeping your little ones occupied can be a full time job and not to mention expensive. If the weather is not on your side it can prove to be costly and exhausting. Theme parks, ball parks and other specially designed play areas are great and the kids will love them but it can really pull on the purse strings. 

• Swimming is always a good way to get rid of some of their endless energy and you can have fun too. Stretch it out by stopping in the pool café for a hot chocolate and a bun.
• Parks can be a great way of getting out of the house. If it’s sunny take a picnic, ball, kite anything that will keep them out and enjoying the fresh air. Arrange to meet up with friends and get them to enjoy a game of rounders. It will keep you fit and you may even find yourself really enjoying the exhilaration of getting back to home base!
• Bake a cake, make fairy cakes or even something as simple as chocolate crispy cakes.
• Make a book where you have to find things such as certain flowers, trees or insects and leave a space to write in the time and date of where you spotted them. You can make this book together by cutting out pictures from magazines, drawing things or simply writing lists of things you could spot. If you live in the city you could look out for cats, cars anything that you think your children will have fun looking out for.

Talk to your friends and meet up as much as possible, get them to share their ideas of the fun things they do to fill the holidays and before you know it they will be back to school!!

Reports have shown that 25% of children at some stage of their schooling years will get bullied.  As parents the thought of your child being bullied is horrifying but if we remember back to our school days we most likely knew of at least one bully and were lucky if we weren’t one of their victims.  What signs should you look out for if you think your child is being bullied? 

• It’s likely they will want to avoid going to school and will come up with plenty of excuses even if they previously enjoyed school
• They may ask you for money, new gadgets or things that they would never normally ask for.
• They may continually lose their things if the bully is taking things from them.
• Bruises, ripped clothing and sullen behaviour.
• They may suddenly become less academic and lose interest in the things they used to enjoy.
• They may be too scared to use the toilets at school so will be desperate to use the bathroom when you pick them up.
• Sleep problems, bad dreams and maybe even wanting to sleep near you.

Growing up as a victim of bullying can give the child low self esteem and depression so you need to spot the signs and give all the help and support possible.

1. Install confidence in your child. Confident children are much less likely to become a victim but what if your child is not confident by nature? There are some things that you can do.  Get them to stand up straight and with their head held high.

2. Encourage your child to invite their friends back to the house to play out of school hours. Bullies generally like children who don’t have a big social network to back them up. If a bully approaches your child tell them to go and stand next to a group of children even if they are not best friends. This can be off putting for a bully as they much prefer a child on their own, as it is easier to intimidate a lone child.

3. Practice role play at home. As stupid as it might seem, you can give the child ideas on how to deal with different situations, so if a similar scenario does occur they may feel more confident in how to act.

4. Don’t encourage them to hit back. Your parents may have taught you to fight back but bullies are usually stronger and may have allies under their control so it could result in your child getting hurt and their pride damaged,

5. Inform the school of your fears for your child’s safety. Speak to the head teacher and check with them daily so it is not overlooked. Bullying is a serious matter and should be taken seriously.

Research has proven that bullies are usually very unhappy children themselves with poor adult guidance. Most bullies fail to hold down a job, maintain personal relationships and a high percentage are convicted of crimes before the age of 24.

We’ve all heard of mum’s suffering from post baby blues and sometimes post natal depression after giving birth but recent studies show that 7% of dad’s suffer from the blues or depression following birth too. 

If you are finding it hard to cope, then it is important for you to talk to your doctor or health visitor who will be able to help. They will also know of support groups in your local area where you can talk to fellow sufferers.  

Having a baby is a life changing experience and one that can seem over whelming. Lack of sleep, baby constantly crying and you feeling like your partner no is longer the person she was can all add up and put strain on you and your relationship. 

• Try to get some time just for yourself, it’s not easy with the extra demands on your time but it will be worth it. Even if you only manage an hour just to get away from it all.

• Talk to family or friends about how you are feeling. Don’t bottle it all up or be embarrassed about feeling like you do, you are not alone.

• Try to exercise, get out for a brisk walk or run, it’s great for the body and mind.

Many men find becoming a father difficult but if you are struggling to cope, get help, don’t struggle on.

Having a baby puts a strain on your relationship no matter how good is was before your baby came along.  Finding time to talk through daily events, worries, fears or even having a gossip about what the neighbours are up to will be harder. 

Making time to spend together will be more difficult and it is easy to forget that it is important for you to find time for each other. Your baby’s needs will take priority, sleepless nights will leave you both feeling exhausted and if she is breast feeding you may start to feel left out. 

• Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. Ask a relation or trust worthy friend to baby sit while you get some time to talk.

• Ask her if you can get more involved. She may be feeling really under pressure and if you can help, even if it is something simple like sharing some household chores she will be thankful.

• Try doing some things with her and the baby. Share the baby bath times, make them fun. Getting involved will stop you feeling excluded and give you time together as a family.

It is really hard at first when your children take up all your energy but it will get easier.It’s easy for you to feel left out and your partner feeling resentful for what she sees as a lack of support. Be united, work together and remember to make time for each other even if it is a stroll around the park talking while the baby is a sleep in the buggy.

Wonderful partner, gorgeous baby and a fantastic sex life may seem like the ideal dream but is it realistic?  

Sleepless nights and your partner’s body insecurities after child birth may not be the best recipe for a fantastic sex life. If you are both content with sex not being on the agenda for a while then that’s fine but if it’s causing frustration within your relationship then it’s important to try to improve it. 

• Simply enjoy each other’s bodies by indulging her in a massage with no expectations of sex. She may be feeling unhappy with her post baby shape, give her some encouragement that you love her and that you still find her attractive.

• Why not enjoy giving each other pleasure without penetration until she feels ready. She may be worried about getting pregnant again so get your contraception sorted.

• Your partner may still be sore after childbirth. Ask her if she is concerned that penetration will hurt. Buy some fun lubrication and take it slowly. Sex should be something you both enjoy and not something she thinks about as a chore.

• If the baby is asleep in their cot right next to your bed it may not be the ideal situation to get in the mood for some passion. Why not explore other areas of the house so you can both relax?

It’s not always easy to talk about and you can sometimes wonder if you are alone in your lack of sex life. Most new parents will experience some difficulties at the start but if you talk about how you are both feeling it will make it easier.