Congratulations, you’re a dad! You’ll be bursting to tell everyone your news and of course squeeze in the obligatory male ceremony of wetting the babies head but then what? 

Bringing the baby home from hospital can be a great source of excitement, fear and trepidation……you are now on your own. 

Remember that your partner will have just given birth and probably won’t be feeling like her normal self. She will probably be feeling a little hormonal and will need plenty of support. At times she may even burst into tears for no apparent reason, don’t try to find out why she is upset or try to find a logical reason ( there probably isn’t any!) just give a cuddle and reassurance. She is new to the baby business too and sometimes it can seem a bit over whelming until you get into a routine. Visitors will probably be eager to come around and see your new arrival, while it’s great to see all your well wishers, it can also be draining. The first few days at home will be a time for you to be getting used to being new parents and having to entertain and make endless cups of tea can cause added stress. 

• Ask visitors to make their own cups of tea and if your partner wants to take the baby off for a nap and get some sleep herself encourage her to do so, regardless of having people visiting. They will understand and it’s important for you to get as much sleep as you can.

• Don’t let the baby be constantly passed around from person to person it can cause the baby to become fretful.

• Help as much as you can with the household chores.

• Help from either of your parents will be great but don’t let them takeover. Ask them if they could do some washing or cook a meal but remember that you’re the parents now and no matter how well meaning they are times change and methods change. Rubbing whisky on a baby’s gums to aid with teething may have been the done thing in the sixties but fortunately there are newer methods available now that don’t involve alcohol! Some of their experience may come in handy though so don’t discount all their advice.

You have a good job, nice home, great social life and you think you and your man are for ‘keeps’, so when or how do you decide to turn your life on it’s head and bring a baby into the equation? 

No sooner have you and your partner trotted down the isle to say ‘I DO’, Auntie Flo will be asking the million dollar question of when you are going to be starting a family. 

Saying okay lets do it, lets start trying for a baby may seem easy but from the moment those words are uttered your whole thinking will start to change and suddenly your idyllic baby free world will have been turned on it’s head!  

The decision is made and suddenly it will be all you will be able to think about…..unexpectedly you may find yourself in the baby section of the supermarket instead of the fruit and veg. Baby books and magazines will fill your shelves instead of your fashion and gossip magazines and your monthly ovulation cycle will be closely monitored with every symptom of a possible pregnancy noted. 

It can change your whole world, no more alcoholic drinks after work, maybe less strenuous workouts and no more shopping for skinny jeans and killer heels! Smocks, comfy sensible shoes and a healthy diet will take hold and before you know it, you’ll be loving every second of it, well maybe! 

So the big question is…..how do you suddenly decide…YES the time is right? 

Sometimes there is no doubt that your child is unwell, however there may be times when you can’t tell! One minute they seem really sick and then the next they are running around the lounge playing with their toys. 

Things to check for if you are unsure: 

• Running a temperature

• Vomiting

• Crying more than usual

• Not eating or drinking

• Listlessness

Sometimes just sitting back and observing them will give you a good idea on how sick they really are. Some children like a lot of fuss and will appear worse than they really are if they see you are worrying about them.  

You know your child more than anyone else and you should trust your own instinct, if you are worried then you should consult your doctor.  After visiting the doctor if your child isn’t getting any better or even seems to be getting worse then contact your doctor again. Sometimes we may feel like we are being over protective but it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

If you can’t get to see you doctor again and feel like you need to get your child seen then you can call the NHS direct number where they will give you advice over the phone. They may suggest you taking your baby straight to the nearest hospital for an examination or you may just decide to take them directly there yourself.

It can be infuriating, you’re trying to get them ready for school but you seem to be the only one rushing around whilst they are finding amusement in teasing the cat or getting out their paints on the new lounge carpet. 

Children know when you’re getting cross but still push you to the limit watching you get more and more upset with them. What can you do? 

• It’s easy to say but don’t expect perfect behaviour, we’re not perfect and don’t behave perfectly all the time. They can have ‘off’ days too! They don’t have the pressures of life that we do, if only we could be carefree children again for a day or two!

• When your child does things you have asked them to do, give plenty of praise. They will enjoy having a happy parent and will learn that good behaviour results in a happy parent.

• Stop nagging, ask them once and then tell them you will only ask one more time. Make it final. Nagging can become a habit and they will start to get used to you begging them to do as you have asked. Does it really matter that they are still in their pyjamas? Who will be more embarrassed, you or them? If you have asked them to get dressed, given them one warning and they are still not dressed then take them out in what they have on. They may decide to listen to your request next time!

• If  you shout when you are tired or feeling angry because you’ve had a bad day, say sorry and explain to them why you got cross.

• Try and do things in a different order. If you know your child will take ages getting their shoes on just before you are ready to leave for school, then do it together as soon as they get dressed.

• If your child takes ages cleaning their teeth, do it together, get a timer and make a game of it. Try to put some fun in the boring everyday chores.

• If they make a fuss getting dressed, try having a race. Lie all your clothes out together and make it a challenge to see who is ready first. For younger children you can do the same thing but with a much simpler challenge.

None of us are perfect and we all have ‘off’ days were we wish we had handled things differently or reacted in a calmer more rationalised way. Sleep deprivation, stress and not having a moment to yourself can all add up to you feeling like you’re not being the best parent in the world!You may look at others and wonder how they are so calm, caring and so great at being parents…..no-one is perfect even if to the outside world they manage to appear so, behind closed doors it could be a different story…… 

Before you become a parent it’s easy to look at the child throwing a tantrum in the supermarket and think ‘gosh, no child of mine will behave like that’, however the reality can sometimes be different. 

If you and your child are both tired and feeling grumpy it can be a recipe for disaster. Most children go through stages of being difficult. 

• Not putting their shoes on even after you asking over and over again!

• Eating poorly or refusing the meal you’ve just prepared

• Getting them into bed at night and staying in bed.

The list is endless…………. 

Sometimes with all the stress we are under it is easy to feel like you are constantly shouting, yelling and not enjoying their company. 

Try and take time out, if everyday after school they come home and start tearing around the house, take them to the park instead. Let them let off their steam outside, the fresh air will do you all good. Maybe you can join them on the swings……Did you know a small child smiles up to 332 times a day while adults only smile on average 8 times…… 

Just remember no-one is perfect, try not to be too hard on yourself and smile!