by: Lyta Humphris

Are you finding it difficult to become pregnant? If so you can do many simple things to improve your chances of conception, the way we live can have a big effect on the reproductive system of both men and women and most people prefer natural ways to increase fertility. You may both have to change your life-style to incorporate healthy influences, and eliminate things you enjoy that reduce your fertility.

Alcohol Reduction
Alcohol can put pregnancy at risk. According to some studies, the risk of miscarriage appears to increase with moderate drinking during the first three months of pregnancy, particularly in the first weeks.

Reducing Stress
Stress can have a big effect on fertility. In women under stress, the reproductive hormone prolactin is over-produced and this can interfere with ovulation. The hypothalamus stops secreting gonadotrophin hormone, which in turn will affect the release of both the luteinizing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone. As these hormones stimulate ovulation - fertility is affected.
Self help for stress is regular exercise, deep breathing techniques, hypnotherapy and visualization - a combined approach can include the following:

Nutritional Improvement
You should not overlook nutrition in fertility treatment – it is important to have a good level of nourishment that will allow your body to function well, and it is of course a very natural way to increase fertility! Bad eating habits can lower the reserves of nutrients that are necessary for reproductive hormone systems to work properly.
Your hormonal balance and fertility are affected by what you eat, your nutrient levels and how well your digestion works. If you are short of essential fatty acids, vitamin A, vitamin B6, zinc, magnesium, and antioxidants, then your hormone production may be blocked - resulting in an imbalance that makes conception less likely.

Acupuncture

Have you ever wondered about the treatment of infertility with traditional medicine and acupuncture? Good candidates for trying medical acupuncture are people who have unexplained infertility - acupuncture is effective for balancing the body’s energies and raising the receptiveness of the body for conception. Men and women with a physical problem, such as damaged fallopian tubes, or a low sperm count, would be encouraged to try acupuncture in addition to their medical treatment.

Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is exceptionally beneficial and natural way to increase fertility. Hypnotherapists are already using Hypnotherapy to help women give birth peacefully, and teaching them that a normal birth should be a calm and natural process. Learning simple but specialised relaxation, and breathing, and other techniques, make the whole birth easier and more comfortable.
With unexplained infertility, hypnotherapists teach you to let go of the stress you have been holding on to, using specialised relaxation, and breathing techniques. It teaches you to let go of any emotional blocks or worries you may have that can create infertility issues – Hypnotherapy can help you identify and process emotional issues that might be interfering with conception.
In addition to dealing with deep-seated fears, hypnotherapy is effective in stress reduction, and this in turn allows for hormonal rebalancing. This has been seen in cases where there is too much prolactin being produced which can inhibit ovulation. In a relaxed environment at a clinic, you can work together to bring about positive attitudes and beliefs.
You can give your unconscious mind free rein here and allow yourself to be creative, free, and prepared to follow your heart’s wishes.

So there you have it - a range of natural ways to Increase infertility. Choose as many as befits your lifestyle and make things easier for yourself and your baby.

They are such small words that really make a difference yet seem to be so easily forgotten….why? 

I have constantly drummed into my 5 year old daughter that she doesn’t get anything without a ‘please’ followed by a ‘thank you’. She sometimes forgets and is by no means perfect but she knows that ‘I wants’ will be ignored, yet a ‘please could I have’ will achieve her objective nearly every time, as long as it’s not for some hugely expensive toy or sweets full of additives. 

Her little friends that look as sweet as candy, which have been invited over for dinner or birthday parties, however are a different matter. When prompted for their magic word they look at me as if I am some mad women and even prompting has achieved the words abracadabra before a please or thank you. When they have they told me they want a drink and I have insisted they don’t get one until they say please, they are later heard telling my daughter ‘I don’t like your mum, she’s mean!’  

Well if asking for such manners is mean then I will continue to be known as the mean mummy because I won’t and will not respond to ‘I WANT’ or ‘GET ME’ or any other demands. 

Being polite doesn’t cost anything but gets you everything……well in our house it does!

When you think of re-usable nappies images of the good old fashioned towelling nappies may spring to mind where you need hours of tuition to just get them folded into a nappy sized shape before you secure them with the biggest safety pin imaginable! Thank goodness those days are over and in their place are easier to use, more modern nappies that are eco- friendly! There are more pro’s too

• Your baby’s poo is now collected in bio-degradle liners which you can simply flush away and then store the nappy in a nappy bucket until you have enough washing to put on a whole load! Easy! Unfortunately it still doesn’t alter the fact that if you haven’t got the convenience of a tumble drier it could mean you house will turn into Madame twanky’s wash room, with lots of nappies drying all over the place!
• It can save you money, you will need around 20 nappies if you are using them full time and half this if you use them part-time with disposables. Give them a few washes before hand and this will help with absorbency. They are actually best after their 3^rd wash.
• There are lots of different types of eco-friendly nappies to chose from, all with funky designs and different shapes and all around the same price. Check them all out as you can find the one that suits you and your baby best.

If you’re still not convinced, there are a few other points to mull over 

• Disposable nappies can take hundreds of years to decompose and most of the nappies we throw away end up in a landfill.
• Some councils are finding it a huge problem and many are so desperate they are offering incentives for parents to use reusable nappies. Get in touch with your local council, as some offer money back if you buy reusable and some even have starter packs.
• If it’s the thought of washing the nappies or having them left drying all over the house or you simply can’t imagine coping with a baby and all the extra time washing then check out  nappy laundering services and let them do the hard work.

You could always use disposables for holidays or times when you need the added convenience and re-useable the rest of the time It’s worth a thought and may make you feel virtuous that you’re doing your bit for the environment?

Ok, so that didn’t make me feel better - I doubt anything will…

I missed my son’s debut on stage - he doesn’t cope well with huge crowds, but he made his stage debut and had a blast. Reindeer antlers, painted on red nose, brown top and trousers…great effort from the nursery by all accounts (that’s my husband, my mum, and a mum whose son goes to the same nursery as Josh…who actually made it to the BIG matinee performance).

It amazes when people trivialise parents attending their child’s school plays, nativity performances, barn sales… and maybe I used to be one of those people before I had my son, but the way I feel now, those thoughts are forever perished from my mind.Yes, he’s only two years old and won’t be scarred for life, but the fact is I wanted to be there. I wanted to see him on that stage with the rest of his peers, having a good old sing-song (well…), and because of work commitments, that choice was taken away from me.

A lot of people who don’t have children knock working mothers - they see us as forever skiving off by leaving work on time, or taking a day off because our child has a high temperature, and the rest. But what these people don’t appreciate is what goes on behind closed doors. Like being up at all hours of the night to tend to that same child when they are poorly, but still showing up at work - with a smile where it has no place - and the fact that, actually, us leaving work on time to catch the last train so we can get to the nursery on time is often not successful and we have to pay for that late privilege.

But today, what I feel is resentment at being in a position where I have to choose between my child and work. Obviously there is no contest - he will always come first. But how can I say that and mean it when I just missed his first stage debut?

www.MothersWhoWork.co.uk

It is so important to take some time to make yourself feel pampered and give you time to relax and put your feet up. You may be finding that your skin is drier than normal, or maybe you have suddenly developed spots and your hair could be looking lank and greasy! 

There are many beauty salons now that have realised that not all pregnant women glow and many of us certainly feel in the need of a little pamper. Check out the pregnancy packages that many salons have on offer, or why not treat yourself to a different treatment each week to give you something to look forward to? 

Perhaps one of the most beneficial things you could do is to indulge in a luxury pedicure.  

As you get larger it can prove extremely difficult to get to your feet with your expanding tummy in the way. The added weight of pregnancy will be putting extra stress on your legs and feet, therefore a good leg and foot massage can aid circulation and help with water retention and swollen ankles. 

Having a foot massage will ease away aches and pains and give you a chance to take the weight off them. If it is not obvious that you are pregnant then remember to tell the therapist as there are certain oils that cannot be used during pregnancy. 

When it’s time to get your toe nails painted try a new colour, some nail art or nail jewels, your feet are doing a great job so make them look fantastic!

Choosing a pram or buggy can be more confusing than buying a new car, with so many different styles and features to pick from where do you start? 

You could ask other mums you know for their advice but really choosing the right buggy is as personal as getting the right fit of jeans.

 Think about where you live as this will be a big factor when you make your choice. 

• If you live in a flat or your can’t get to your front door without going up lots of steps then a lightweight buggy/pram would make your life easier.
•  If you live in an area where you will be taking lots of walks on rough pathways or plan on jogging with your buggy than maybe you should look into a buggy or 3- wheeler designed especially for rough terrain.
• If you will be using your car a lot then size is important, it will have to fit into your boot with ease. You could even think about getting a travel system as you could then put your car seat straight onto the buggy without disturbing your sleeping baby.
• If you will be using public transport, choose something that you can easily put up and down with one hand.

Check out as many shops as you can and practice folding them up and down, see how heavy they are to lift and practice pushing them. There will be guidelines and information for most buggy’s and prams so take it all home, read it through and work out the pros and cons. Don’t rush your choice or be influenced by the latest trends. 

It can be easy to choose one just because you like the colour or the look of it but remember that if it doesn’t fit in with your lifestyle you could end up buying another buggy just for an easy life. 

Studies have shown that 40% of pregnant women develop varicose veins. 

They can be caused by the increase in blood pressure in the veins of the legs, family history, weight gain and pregnancy hormones which relax the smooth muscle fibres in the wall of your blood vessels. There is a vein on the right hand side of your body called the inferior cava which can have added pressure put on it by your growing uterus and can be another cause. 

There are however, some things you can do to reduce your chances of getting them. 

• Relax and put your feet up, (now you have a great excuse for a rest, as if being pregnant wasn’t enough!) Rest them whenever you get the chance by propping them up on cushions or a chair.
• Try not to cross your legs, it may be a habit but try to stop yourself.
• Avoid standing up for long periods. If your day normally involves lots of standing try to find periods when you can sit and give your legs a rest.
• Sleep on your left hand side and put a pillow behind you to stop you turning over in the night.

The good news is that if you do develop them, they could disappear by around six months after giving birth. If however you find that they don’t and they are causing you pain your G.P will be able to advise you on how you can get them removed.

Special Poems

Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further.
The depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry.
I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing.
The tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent,
Pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she has been missed.
You asked me how I was doing.
I say “pretty good” or “fine.”
But healing is something ongoing.
I feel it will take a lifetime.

“I’ve lost my twins recently, only a few weeks old.  Hope this helps other people to. x” J.

Choosing the correct material, size and getting the right support for your breast is so important when buying a maternity bra. You will be amazed by how much heavier your breasts will become, sometimes they increase by as much as 500g each! This is why it is important to get the correct support for them so they don’t loose their pre pregnancy perky shape! 

What should you choose? 

• Don’t wear your normal underwired bras, not only can they become uncomfortable, they will cause restriction and may even cut into you as your rib cage expands during pregnancy. If you really can’t bear the thought of giving them up, there are some special underwired bras which have been especially designed for pregnancy with soft wires which will accommodate your changing shape.
• Choose bras with wider straps, this will ease any strain on your back or neck.
• Choose the right fabric, an elastane bra in will add support, while a cotton one will be cool.
• Buy a nursing bra that has simple fastening, remember you will probably have to open and close it with one hand! Some mums prefer zips, hook and eye or clips……try before you buy to see what’s easiest for you.
• Last of all but by no means least, make sure you find a bra that still makes you feel feminine and makes you feel good about yourself. Sporty, fun and trendy or sexy, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t look good in your undies!

Joycellyn Akuffo of www.MothersWhoWork.co.uk gives her take on telling your employer that you\’re pregnant.

In short – no. At least not until the end of the 15th week before your baby is due.

BUT, it is important that you do – the laws protecting expectant mothers don’t actually kick in until your employer knows you are pregnant.Even if you tell your boss verbally, you still need to do this in writing as your employer is not obliged to take any action other than normal risk assessments that they would perform for other employees. Some employers will ask for a certificate (form MATB1) certificate from your doctor or midwife confirming that you are pregnant.Besides kick-starting preparations for your maternity leave, it’s also important to tell your employer you are pregnant for the following reasons:

• So a risk assessment can be done: It’s also important you tell your employer to help protect you and your baby’s health and safety during your pregnancy, and so that preparations can be made for your maternity leave.
• To get time off to go for check: You are entitled to paid time off to go to antenatal appointments and classes recommended by your doctor or midwife. Your employer can ask for proof of this from your second appointment onwards.
• To protect you from unfair treatment: You are protected by law for any unfair treatment, e.g. unfair dismissal, which is connected to your pregnancy. If, for example, you take time off for a pregnancy related illness, your employer must pay you in the same way they would if it was any other illness.